Here's the Fee for Your Childhood

I am a video game enthusiast. I have always been and up until now I have always thought that I would be. I recall playing SMB/Duck Hunt on the original NES. I remember Paperboy, Jaws, Karate Kid, Sonic the Hedgehog, NBA Jam, Final Fantasy (the whole series), Paper Mario, Maro Kart, Smash Bros., Halo, Call of Duty, Battlefield, Metal Gear, THPS, Mortal Kombat, Killer Instinct, and all the other staples that have now been added to the pandect of what many console consumers have dubbed as "Classic" games.

As a by-product of being an avid game player, I naturally seek to own some of the most recent consoles and gaming devices simply because the games that release for them are fun to play and I have an "addiction." That said, I have very fond memories of getting a GameBoy from my parents the year it released. I remember opening an N64 for Christmas. I remember playing Sonic for the first time and sitting in my living room and playing NBA Jam until I was playing against people who could teleport across the screen and slam dunk if I didn't immediately steal the ball once they passed it in.

Part of the joy of gaming is that you can experience some things that you probably would never experience in real life. It's an escape from the daily grind and a way to relax every once in a while. Another part of that joy is to share a game with your friend because you enjoyed the game so much you want them to play too. The next generation of console gaming has completely missed the entire heritage that brings to the face of gaming. Microsoft and Sony were not existent as console gaming companies when I was a kid, so naturally I shouldn't expect them to understand the same way Nintendo or Sega does.

THE NEW GENERATION OF GAMING FROM MICROSOFT

Xbox One

Here is a list of features that are 100% useless from this console that the gaming community will not like.
1. DVR - we all are still paying for cable and probably a DVR box too - this is a waste of tech
2. "Upgraded" controller - nobody was complaining about the last one
3. "Upgraded" Kinect - Nobody cares about your heartbeat while gaming - people play dance games for fun but not for exercise
4. Required to download games to hard drive
             This is actually a two part problem. The first part is that there are several people who will get irritated with the idea that their disk is essentially useless unless they want to go to another machine. The problem that comes into play with that is that when you install the game on another console, your current console will "deactivate" until you insert the disk again - annoying. All of that said, the more concerning problem is this: Xbox plans to charge you a fee if you install a game on a console and intend to play with more than one Gamertag.
             This means if I take my own game (that I paid my own money for) and I decide to give it to a friend because he likes it and I have already beat the game to smithereens Xbox intends to charge my friend a fee to play this game on his own gamertag - because he didn't purchase the game. Well excuse me, but if I am paying $60 for a game I better have the right to do WHATEVER I want with a game.
5. Blu-Ray - not only should it have come standard with the 360, but it's already available on the 360s.
6. New "Architecture" - For the gaming community you are using fancy language to say "We want more of your money." I don't see a benefit to this new architecture because ALL of the benefits you are talking about have NOTHING to do with gaming, but I am sacrificing on the gaming end to get them - hence no backward compatibility.
7. The actual Design - it looks like a VHS player and it's as fat as an NES. Come on guys, really?

OPINIONS
I was skeptical of the original Xbox when it released because I have always known Microsoft to be a very money hungry company, charging you for licenses on software that you already purchased. I originally wasn't very interested in Sony releasing Playstation either, as Sony for the most part was in the world of electronics and movies. Ultimately I did end up owning both consoles, and both of the next gen and the gen after that. I owned PSone, PS2, and my father in law has a PS3 (essentially just a Blu-Ray player now). I have owned an Xbox and an Xbox 360. Additionally I have owned an N64, Gamecube, and a Wii.

I do not see a reason to purchase an Xbox One so they can simply slap me with more fees every time I want to play a game. I will not be using the "TV" features or the music features - I have an "iToy" and a DVR box that covers all of those functions already. I do however see the Xbox One as a HUGE stab at the heritage and culture of the gaming community.

Thus far the PS4 has not spoken word of any fees for playing a borrowed game on your own gamertag, however if any fee like that is released I will probably never upgrade and/or I will probably just upgrade a computer and illegally download all of my games and burn them because I WILL NOT give my hard earned money to people who are out of touch with their consumer base - regardless of industry.

If They Can't Hurt You Then You Don't Love Them

Everyone in the world sees things through the stained glasses of their own previous experiences. People who grew up with abusive father figures have difficulties trusting male authority figures. People who were neglected commonly have the thought that people around them do not like them. Everything we experience taints our experiences for the future and influences the decisions we make.

This morning the thought crossed my mind and then translated into how different groups of people view love. Love is something that is different for each person because we all experience it in different ways. Some people experience love with kind words, some with gifts, some with physical contact, and several other ways for other people. Everyone sees love differently because we all approach it from different angles.

Love from one person to another will invariably entail hurt. When you invest deeply in actions with another person you are forming a bond. Since we know that love is an action rather than an emotion, it is clear that these hurt feelings really don't have much of anything to do with love, however people nowadays confuse the notion of a romantic feeling with the concept of love. I can love my enemies by treating them how I would like to be treated, but I don't need to feel for them like I do my wife.

Everyone in the world is conditioned to think that since love is an emotion that it comes with hurt. Hurt is something that we choose to feel when it is on an emotional level. Nobody can tell you how to feel. If they do something that is offensive or potentially wrong to you, your immediate choice is how you want to react. If you choose to be hurt you are choosing to move forward down that path. Love however, doesn't keep record of wrong doings, and choosing to be hurt is doing exactly that.

Sometimes we need to let things go and realize that love is really an action. Your love from you to another person will always have hurt involved because we as people aren't perfect and cannot avoid either end. We will always hurt the people we love and will always choose to let them hurt us. Christ's love however is persistent and pursues you with fervor regardless of what you have done. Even while you are committing acts that offend His love, He still pursues you. We can choose to be "hurt" by the actions of his love, but remember that hurt is a choice typically predicated on a lack of understanding.

Love shouldn't hurt. We let it hurt because we cannot understand a love that doesn't. Following Christ is a choice to approach a better understanding of that love on a regular basis.

Who Hates Charity?

You know what is really tiring? People's lack of concern for others and still claiming that they are operating in the will of Christ. That's tiring. 

I recently saw in my news feed a post saying that South Carolina has made Obamacare illegal. Not to my surprise I noticed it because someone I have met who is an alumni from a very "republican" college I attended shared it. I had replied to this share with a simple statement that this action seems very "I'm taking my toys and going home" and that I felt that it was wrong to criminalize (and they will arrest anyone using the program) Obamacare when it can help several middle and lower income families. (For the record I am not saying it's for everyone. I feel it should be elective for everyone.)

In another twist, the conversation went toward religion, which was actually quite expected. This person mentioned that they support helping poor people, but that we should teach them to do well for themselves. I couldn't help but think to myself, "Is this what the American Christian has become? Are we now a people that will serve the will of Christ in ways that fit into our own ideological viewpoints?"

Jesus has this to say:

 Matthew 25:34-36 Then the king will say to those at his right hand, "Come, you that are blessed by my Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world; for I was hungry and you gave me food, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you welcomed me, I was naked and you gave me clothing, I was sick and you took care of me, I was in prison and you visited me."

The one thing that I noticed in this passage was that this was strikingly different than what I have heard many people who claim Christ say. Many people have heard the idiom, "If you give a man a fish you feed him for a day. If you teach him to fish you feed him for a lifetime." While that's true, most people also forget the biggest lie in that statement and it glares you in the face. If you teach a man to fish and he doesn't have a pole or a hook he is still going to starve and you never fed him in the first place. Give the man the fish and your pole and teach him to fish with it. 

It's very evident in the passage I quoted that Jesus doesn't say "I was hungry and you taught me to get food." He doesn't say, "I was thirsty and you brought me a cup and showed me where the well was." Do you want to know where the fatal flaw in this pattern of thinking? It's two-part. The first part is that you are ignoring the actual words of Christ in the passage when he is talking about feeding and welcoming people. Secondly, Jesus also has this to say:

“But when you give a feast, invite the poor, the crippled, the lame, the blind, and you will be blessed because they cannot repay you. For you will be repaid at the resurrection of the just.” (Luke 14:13-14)

More often than not we are overly concerned with the ROI of our charity. That's not the idea of charity. Giving isn't about how much you get back or the "bang for your buck." It's about being selfless and doing what you can for other people because reality is that you probably have it better than they do in the first place. 

How can we be so self minded as to make helping people illegal?

(Coincidentally at the end of this conversation I pointed out some loopholes in the system which this person happened to qualify for that allow you to avoid fees and not have the insurance if you cannot afford it and magically the hostility disappeared.)

Crushed Dreams

Sometimes I wish I was just 1% manly. Like, maybe I could grow some actual body hair like a beard or chest hair or something. Maybe it would be nice to have a stocky build, be really tall, have a deep voice, be interested in sports, enjoy beer, or really anything that most "men" do. 

Never in my life have I fit into the conventional idea of manliness, and the thing is that when you are a little boy you idolize people like your dad and other adults. My dad has a big beard. I can't grow any hair to save my life. I do not have a stocky build, I am almost genetically coded to be fat unless I regulate every ounce of food I eat and exercise almost 6 days a week. I have such a non-manly voice that total strangers on Xbox Live even mentioned that I sound like a young mentally challenged kid, and I hate to say it but every time I hear a recording of my voice I 100% agree. 

I know some women probably read this and are thinking stuff like, "but you are a good husband and a good father" and while that may be true it's not the same feeling. For women I would imagine it's like getting a bra or doing makeup, but then imagine that you never physically develop a need for more than a trainer and you aren't interested in makeup. So I live every day of my entire life defending the things that I like and trying to compensate for the "shortcomings" in my manliness. 

There is nothing as desperately lonely as trying to talk about something you legitimately care about with some of your friends when they all look at you like you just arrived from another planet. It is painful almost to a physical level to be in a room full of guys, all exchanging stories about their hobbies, dying to be interested in the same things just so you can "belong." 

Nowadays people are conditioned to be nice to people like me, but quite honestly it just feels like charity 9/10 times. You get the, "Hey man, that's cool" reply and then they are off to do whatever without you and you sit alone in your room writing poetry and drawing. I never wanted guys to be nice to me against their natural instincts. I never wanted them to be nice at all, really. I just want to be able to fit at least a finger into the traditional mold of manliness because it's something that you think about as a kid.

For an adult man who has a high pitched voice, doesn't like watching sports, doesn't drink beer, cannot grow facial hair, is overweight, enjoys poetry and lyricism, enjoys comic books and art, doesn't like hunting, doesn't like fishing, but likes acting and music the world can be a very intimidating place and every single hour of every single day is filled with reminders that you still are not accepted into the fold.